Author: Presholives

We all do it sometimes. We undermine ourselves by using less-effective language. That means there’s always room for improvement to help your messages get through effectively.

We can all also use a little reminder now and then, so here are 10 of the worst offenses.

(Got a few I forgot? Let us know in the comments or contact me directly.)

1. “No problem” (when you really mean “you’re welcome”)
Admittedly, I’m on a crusade against this one. When you say “no problem” in response to “thank you,” you’re actually devaluing the person who offers thanks by suggesting that whatever you did for him or her was of so little value to you that it hardly required effort.

2. “Sorry” (when you mean “excuse me”)
Everyone appreciates a sincere apology, but using “sorry” when you really mean “excuse me” (or perhaps simply “get out of my way”) undermines your professionalism–and can make you sound a little like a bully.

3. “Just … ”
There’s not enough justice in this world, but when you use the word just in the wrong context, you minimize your impact. “I just want to bring up one point,” for example, telegraphs that whatever you’re about to say is of little importance.

4. Speaking Canadian
Fun fact: I’m technically half-Canadian, so I can say this: Canadian accents often include an uptick at the end of a sentence, which suggests that any statement you make is actually a question. Do you know what I mean?

5. “Know what I mean?”
I’m aware that I just ended the last paragraph with this phrase, but it’s another bad habit. While it’s smart to ensure that people you’re speaking with are on the same page, it’s pretty annoying–and unprofessional–to be so unaware of your verbal tics that you keep repeating the same phrases.

6. Syllogisms
We live in a time of syllogisms: “It is what it is” and “It’s all good,” for example. These are harmless phrases in the abstract, and they were probably even witty once upon a time. But if you pepper your speech with them, you undermine the sense that you’re a serious person.

7. “You guys … ”
I admit, I fall prey to this one myself sometimes. Using “you guys” as an all-purpose substitute for the second-person plural is a bad habit that can undermine your message by making assumptions about how familiar your audience really wants to be.

8. Apologetic (nervous) laughter
Unapologetic laughter is great, and often contagious. Apologetic, nervous laughter is at best undermining, and at worst, unnerving.

9. Wandering eyes
Rule number 1: Try to maintain eye contact. Rule number 2: If you can’t maintain eye contact, at least try not to stare at the person’s other body parts. It drowns out anything you might try to say.

10. “I do apologize … ”
I once knew a federal judge who said that when lawyers began their argument by saying, “With all due respect,” what he heard instead was “Eff you.” This is the same kind of phrase–an apology that in many contexts (imagine, say, a cable company customer service representative using it) means you’re really not sorry about anything at all.

1. Trying to do it alone.
Even if you can pull it off, it’s twice as much work and half as much fun when you do it alone.

2. Making empty promises.
Make your promises rare and 100 percent reliable.

3. Fixating on your weaknesses.
We all have our weak points. Work on them, but focus on your strengths.

4. Blaming others.
It’s cowardly and it costs you respect.

5. Overlooking your negative thoughts.
You may believe that you are responsible for what you do but not for what you think. The truth is those things can’t be separated.

6. Living in the past.
Your future starts now.

7. Trying to please everyone.
The surest path to failure is trying to please everyone. Work to please only yourself and those who are important to you.

8. Small goals.
Small goals yield small results; big goals, big (and sometimes huge) results.

9. Holding on to grudges.
They’re a waste of time and a thief of contentment and happiness.

10. Avoiding change.
Change will happen with your permission or not. Manage it when you can and always make the best of it.

11. Trying to never make a mistake.
Avoiding risk and never daring is the biggest mistake you can make.

12. Saying “I can’t.”
Don’t give up just because things are hard, and don’t talk to yourself in negative terms.

13. Minimizing yourself.
Being a shrinking violet doesn’t help you, it doesn’t put anyone else at ease, and it’s a bore.

The way I see it, there are five qualities that every successful leader embodies. Some of my biggest inspirations share all five traits, achieving unprecedented success in their fields. These characteristics aren’t magical or inaccessible. They’re qualities you can work on and apply to your own leadership style.

1. Vision

It takes guts to start something completely new. When Bill Gates began his career in technology, computers were earmarked for the wealthy and required a lumbering, 6-foot-wide machine to complete even a simple task.

But when you have a vision, you see things based on how they should be — rather than how they are. Gates saw that these machines could be household products, and with hard work and intelligence, transformed that vision into Microsoft.

Find something you’re passionate about, and ask yourself how it can be improved. When you can answer that question, make a move — no matter how bizarre. Gates dropped out of Harvard to pursue his vision. You don’t have to be that extreme, but it demonstrates how a clear vision can drive you to take a big leap of faith to bring it to fruition.

2. Resilience

Oprah Winfrey was born in the Deep South during the civil rights movement. She was sexually abused as a child, had a child as a teenager, and was raised by a single mother. But she bounced back from crippling poverty to become one of the world’s most successful women in entertainment.

Tony Robbins was raised by a single mother and lived in extreme poverty; he washed dishes in the bathtub of his 400-square-foot apartment. Still, he was determined to succeed. He became a life coach and motivational speaker and now has a net worth of more than $30 million.

What do these two people have in common? They’re resilient. Life did not deal them an easy hand, but they rose above their problems and found success. In business, you’re bound to encounter pitfalls, but without them, success wouldn’t be nearly as sweet.

You can’t just give up when you lose an important client or your market share plummets. Look at your failures through a different lens, and use them to fortify your next endeavor.

3. Intelligence

Richard Branson never went to college, but he’s a very intelligent man. Virgin America, Virgin Mobile, and Virgin Records — among other enormous enterprises — all flourished under Branson’s tutelage despite very little cash. In fact, Branson started Virgin Records from the trunk of his car.

Your level of formal education doesn’t necessarily indicate your intelligence. Branson took calculated risks by asking the right questions of himself and creating a plan. That’s all intelligence is: smart risks at the right time. Don’t judge yourself — or others — by the degrees you have under your belt.

4. Action

All the intelligence in the world will go to waste unless you act on your vision. Gates knew how to act. He saw a gap in the market that no one else did and put his vision in motion, which made him one of the most famous entrepreneurs of the home computer revolution.

Taking action isn’t as simple as it sounds. Procrastination or fear can easily paralyze you, but it’s important to remember that nothing great ever happened on its own. Connect with the present, block out emotional resistance, and carefully time your next move. Knowing the best time to act is something most successful people have mastered.

5. Intensity

I love my job. I get to help people realize their fitness and spiritual goals every day. To see a student of mine shine after months of hard work is a huge payoff, but I wouldn’t be a very good stockbroker, gardener, or mechanic. Why? I’m simply not interested in those things.

Every day for more than 20 years, Robbins would practice public speaking. With that much repetition, his fear of speaking dissipated, and he could focus on being passionate, intense, and driven for his audience.

Without intensity and passion for what you do, you won’t be very good at it — at least not as good as you could be. You may already be passionate about something, but for those who aren’t, experiment, ask questions, and explore new areas. You may find your interest in a place you never would have expected.

Each of these leaders had a vision to change the world and the determination to take action with passion and resilience. They wanted to see their vision become a reality, regardless of the obstacles or challenges they faced. It wasn’t great education or luck that made them successful, and it certainly wasn’t money.

With clear focus and determination, we’re all capable of achieving our greatest potential. Success is an inward step. Don’t look around you for validation for what you do. Get inside yourself and find the vision you want to create.

Source: Getmotivation.com